In a world where personal milestones are celebrated as early as possible, it’s time to pause and rethink the path that’s been laid out for generations. After having completed four decades on earth in India, I’ve come to realize that some of the most important lessons about love, marriage, sex, and success don’t align with the timeline society typically suggests.

Companionship vs. Marriage

Marriage, often seen as the ultimate life goal, can be limiting. Companionship, on the other hand, frees individuals from the societal pressures and contractual obligations that can stifle personal growth. While both have their benefits, there’s a freedom in companionship that allows you to focus on your own success first. I tell responsible, educated youngsters to reconsider their approach to marriage and relationships. Marriage and even companionship can—and should—wait, at least until after 30. The early years of adulthood should be about laying a strong foundation of social and financial success. After all, when life gets hard, it’s this success that will carry you forward, not the romance or emotions of youth.

The Issue with Early Marriage

Marrying young often sets you up for failure, not just in your career but also in your relationships. Romance, which is essential to a successful spousal relationship, rarely survives the harsh realities of life. If you marry early, you end up dealing with life’s biggest challenges—financial struggles, career uncertainties—within the framework of marriage, making it harder to sustain that initial spark. Let those challenges pass first, so when you do marry, you can face them with more stability and clarity. In the best-case scenario, early marriages turn bland; in the worst case, they break down under pressure.

Money Before Romance

It might sound harsh, but the truth is: money is the elixir of life. Make as much of it as you can before you turn 30 or 35. Money buys you freedom—the freedom to make choices, to say no, and to control your life. If you’re not from an elite institution like IIT or IIM, or born into wealth, it’s even more crucial to focus solely on your growth and success during your 20s. Love relationships and sex can wait; your primary focus should be building yourself into someone who can navigate life without the added complexities of relationships.

The Pitfalls of Premarital Sex

Sex, especially in your youth, can be a destructive force. Premarital sex, in particular, ruins focus and growth, something most people don’t realize until decades later. Once experienced, sex tends to supersede everything else, creating an insatiable longing.

Whether you pursue casual encounters or enter relationships to satisfy this craving, you’re allowing it to dictate your life choices without even realising. You might think you’re in control, but in reality, you’re being guided by the pursuit of pleasure rather than success. The societal norm of love leading to sex compounds this, making it even more difficult to stay focused. In most cases, you end up in relationships which you later regret being in.

Also, sex being the peak level bliss an average human can experience, it should be treasured and the experience should be preserved for the person whom you are absolutely sure of sharing your life with.

Romantic Relationships: A Distraction in Youth

Romantic relationships in your 20s tend to derail your progress. They often lead to sex, which then becomes a driving force in your life, pulling you away from the things that truly matter—your career, your growth, your potential. If you’re serious about succeeding, romantic entanglements should be put on hold until you’ve established yourself. You need to be in a position of strength—both financially and socially—before considering companionship or marriage. It’s about reaching a point where you can negotiate the terms of your life, rather than having them dictated by circumstances.

Parenthood and Mediocrity

Parenthood, too, is not for everyone. It’s especially not for those who are still struggling to make ends meet or achieve social standing. Mediocre people—those without the wealth or success to outsource responsibilities—often find themselves trapped in the routine of parenthood, with little time left for personal growth. Children, while a blessing, further limit the scope for advancement, especially for those who have not yet secured their future.

The Harsh Reality of Mediocrity

The world isn’t kind to mediocrity. Those who don’t prioritize success early on will struggle later in life, whether they realize it or not. By 40, if someone or some system or some institution is still telling you what to wear, where to go, or what you should be doing, then you haven’t achieved the freedom you deserve. Freedom comes from success, and success comes from money. If money isn’t God, it’s certainly next to God. It’s what buys you the ability to live life on your terms, free from the constraints of mediocrity.

Parting Thought 

These lessons may seem tough, but they’re rooted in reality. By focusing on your own growth and success in your 20s, you set yourself up for a life where companionship, marriage, and parenthood can be choices rather than obligations. Life’s challenges will always come, but by delaying these distractions, you can face them from a position of strength. Focus on building yourself first; love, marriage, and everything else can wait.

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