When I was asked to write a column for Pride Round, my initial thought was ‘why me?’.
I sometimes feel like a bit of a ‘queer imposter’ on these occasions, because I’m not the type of person who flies the rainbow flag and shouts from the rooftops about it. I’m more of a proud but quiet gay (despite my short hair).
I’m proud to call my best friend, Ellie, my wife. I’m proud that we share our other best friend, our daughter Pippa. I consider myself so lucky to live in a place and time where I am simply in a marriage, not a ‘gay marriage’. That’s not to say being loud and proud is wrong, some of my best friends are and I love it for them. It’s just not me and embracing every person’s uniqueness is why I love this round.
There’s a line on social media at the moment where players are saying they’re “married to the club”, I think maybe the Collingwood girls coined it. In a roundabout way, I might be. I met Ellie in 2018 when we both played for Richmond’s inaugural VFLW team. Safe to say, our paths would likely never have crossed if it were not for Punt Road.
Fast forward six years, we are newly married, with a two-and-a-half-year-old. So, married to the club? I guess so.
My childhood is an AFLW story told many times before by lots of players over about 25. I grew up a football-loving tomboy who played junior footy with the boys. Around 10, I was told I would have to watch my mates from the sidelines because girls couldn’t play anymore.
Even when allowed to play, I remember kicking a goal and not one of the boys on my team giving me a high five, because they didn’t want to touch ‘the girl’.
I’m not angry at those boys, I don’t believe they were trying to exclude me. But boy, do I still feel sad for that little girl sometimes. Everywhere she gravitated towards, everywhere she felt most comfortable, she was told she didn’t belong.
Fast forward 25 years and I’m writing this as I’m about to board a flight to Coffs Harbour to play an AFLW game. To my left is my wife and to my right, our daughter.
Pippa’s just been running around the airport playing with ‘the footy girls’ and is excitedly waiting to get on the flight, probably secretly hoping to score a seat next to her favourite player – Mon Conti (can you blame her?).
In Pippa’s world, this is normal. Women play football. Women are athletes. Sporty girls belong.
The bubble of football can be all-consuming from time to time. It can be tricky not to be shattered by a close loss or get caught up in the media rush of it all. But remembering the little girl on the sidelines, and how happy she would be to see Pippa at the airport about to watch her Mumma play, fills me with pride.
That’s the kind of perspective that makes the rollercoaster of professional sport worth it, every day of the week. Even 2k time-trial day.
So, as I also run out onto the Swinburne Centre, Punt Road Oval this weekend against Geelong for what is my 50th AFLW match I will have pride in so many things.
Pride in our jumper, that my teammates Libby Graham and Bec Miller designed.
Pride in my family and for my career… and Pride that this competition embraces us all for who we were born to be.
This article was originally published on AFLW.com and was republished with permission. This article was written by Kate Dempsey.
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