It’s Pay Day! The ABC’s column where we ask Australians the money questions we don’t like to talk about. We aim to demystify personal finance and normalise conversations about what we earn and how we save it — or spend it.

In the early days of Michelle Brasier’s career she went into debt to perform at comedy festivals while struggling to keep up with her wealthier peers.  But today, she has no regrets. The actor, comedian and writer regularly performs and has featured in shows such as Aunty Donna and Koala Man — and is also now out of debt.

For Pay Day, Michelle talks about the bread that will be her “financial ruin”, how she treats past “disasters” as good stories for her memoir instead, and why she likes to shout her friends when she has cash.

How would you describe your financial situation right now?

I am for the first time in my adult life feeling OK about money. My partner and I are thinking about buying an apartment. It’s all very adult and privileged. I was in debt for a very long time.

How was money spoken about in your house growing up?

My parents never spoke about money in front of me. I never really wanted for anything, I had singing lessons on a partial scholarship and I went to public school which I am proud of. My school was incredible for young creative weirdos. Shout out to Kooringal High School. I thought we were rich because we owned the house and the car. I didn’t know you could be in a position where you like “had” a pool. Who has a pool in their own house? I just didn’t understand what wealth was. People who are in my opinion quite rich consider themselves middle class but I think we genuinely were middle class. Country, boomer parents who were both teachers. Shitbox first car but still — I had one you know?

What did you spend your first pay cheque on?

A hair straightener. I had just done a play and I have this mop of curls and frizz and the director asked if I could make my hair “prettier” and I knew what that meant. So with the pay cheque I got for the show, I bought a GHD hair straightener. And my therapist has been profiting ever since.

What has been your biggest financial disaster?

Oh baby girl I’ve never made a mistake in my life. Listen. I have lived above my means, I have dressed for the job I wish I had, I have gone into heavy debt in order to keep up with the private school kids whose parents paid for them to go to Edinburgh Fringe. I regret none of it. I think all of these things were fun and good and you only live once. They also paid off. I had a great time in my early 20s which resulted in great stories for my memoir. My career has found success that it never could have if I hadn’t gone into debt to do Edinburgh Fringe and Melbourne Comedy Festivals. I don’t regret much.

What’s your guilty splurge?

Ooooft, any time Alpha 60 releases a new season I wander in there and spend $300 on an elegant black sack dress. I cannot help it. I also have been brainwashed into buying a tonne of French skincare. It makes me feel like all my problems will be solved and so far honestly it’s true.

Have you ever kept a secret about money?

No! I try to be honest about money because I noticed when I got to VCA — which was quite fancy for me — that people would pretend not to be rich but then they had all these family homes on the beach. I hated it.

How much was the last loaf of bread you bought?

Oh mate. Ovens Street Bakery’s Turkish bread will be my financial ruin and that is absolutely fine. I think it’s like $6? Which is fine but I always want to buy 400.

Cash or card?

I love cash because I can touch it. I can’t keep track of things on screens. I like paper. That said, I have not seen cash in four human years.

How many bank accounts do you have? How do you organise your money?

I have an account for my business, a high interest savings account, a joint account with my partner where I put money for rent etc and an account I pay myself into for treats and things.

What’s your biggest source of money anxiety?

Retirement baby! I have f*** all super. Maybe 40k? Which is not grand but also not nothing. I need to get better at it but I am a freelancer mostly so I always forget to pay myself. I also am so scared I will never own a home. But that’s hopefully something that might change soon.

What are you saving for right now and how are you doing it?

I’m saving for an apartment and I am not good at curbing my spending because the voice in my head screaming “You only live once!” is louder than the tiny little investment influencers who live in my phone. I try to take more gigs, gigs I wouldn’t normally take. And then I put all of that cash somewhere secret and keep it a secret from myself.

What’s your biggest financial achievement?

Getting out of debt, specifically through making art (vomits). I am proud of where I am at. I was always really scraping by like most creatives without rich parents. I think it’s good to be generous and honest. And when I have cash I always shout my friends. People can be so kind when you’re in need. People have done it for me a lot in the past and I’m sure they will again. I am proud that I try not to attach shame to finance. And I hope you might try too.

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Michelle Brasier is a Melbourne comedian, singer, writer and actor. Her new book, My Brother’s Ashes are in a Sandwich Bag, is available now.