Key events
“Morning James, loved the invigoratingly breathless preamble and a David Bowie reference to boot. How will this wicket adapt to the changes sought by the Pakistan authorities and can it last the full five days never mind five years? Let’s dance.”
I see your ‘invigoratingly breathless’ and raise you a ‘squintingly panicked’ but cheers all the same, Brian Withington.
Solidarity to David Fletcher who takes the first email of the Test award.
“Hi James, of course I’m in bed…”
Unfortunately it’s (a) in hospital and (b) attached to a compressed air thingy that sets off a most-disappointing-ever-party-popper alternately in compression socks on a cycle lasting 44 seconds.
Oh. And the drugs.
Like all good England cricket fans I’m at heart an ironist so have whiled away the small hours binge watching Dopesick but now the iPad has run out of juice so I’m rather excited there’s only 20 mins before play starts.
If we could make this a full five days I’d be very grateful as on medical advice I need to spend the next five days either in bed or propped up on the sofa. Can you sort please?”
Consider it done. Good to have you with us David, England’s batters should be able to take your mind off things for the next few *hours at least.
*Or days. Or minutes. Delete as applicable.
Nasser Hussain and Mike Atherton report from the ground that the pitch actually looks like a belter and despite all the paraphernalia – the patio heaters, the fans and the scarifiers, it should produce runs and then some, especially in the first couple of days. It’ll crack and break up at some point, how much remains to be seen. [Insert gag about four early starts in a row when back from latest coffee]
England win the toss and will bat first!
Here we go, here we go! Buckle up knuckleheads – Ben Stokes has called the coin correctly and chosen to have first use of the wicket. Well duh. The next few hours promise to be Box Office viewing. You can keep your Paul Mescal in a loin cloth and shove your Joaquin Phoenix chewing up the scenery, we’re about to have Ben Duckett and Zak Crawley sweeping like loons and setting their stall out. Pass the popcorn.
Some Stokes Quotes:
The toss is imminent. Ben Stokes will keep his poker face no matter the way the coin falls.
“The toss out in the subcontinent, plays a bigger role than anywhere in the world. I don’t think we’re going to have as extreme conditions as the game goes on: it will be a day-one wicket when we start, not day six.”
England have teenage leg-spinner Rehan Ahmed in their XI as part of a three pronged spin attack with Joe Root up the sleeve. Here’s what England’s captain had to say yesterday on the young lad:
“Adding Rehan’s free spirit and desperation to change the game every time he’s got the ball in his hand is a massive bonus for us this week,” Stokes said, while discarding the relevance of his quiet season for Leicestershire. “Leg spinners have an amazing ability to break a game open… You’d rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it.”
Understood? Incidentally the pitch is full of known unknowns and unknown knowns. I mean, the thing has had two industrial fans on it for the last week and has reportedly been raked, RAKED I tell you!
‘I was not involved in decision-making, I was just there’
Jason Gillespie giving off strong husband dragged to Ikea on a wet Bank Holiday energy in this one.
Nothing to see here… apart from a nosebleed inducing amount of runs:
Preamble
James Wallace
Shouldn’t you be at work in bed?
Hello and welcome to Rawalpindi, by way of a sofa in south London, for the deciding Test match between Pakistan and England. It’s one Test apiece and all to play for as both sides look to secure a series victory that would mean an awful lot.
Shan Masood’s Pakistan side are riding their own brand of chaos but have managed to square the series with a rousing win in the second Test at Multan. The victory put an end to a six Test string of defeats and gave them a glimmer of a way forward, if not a sustainable blueprint for success. They’ve named an unchanged side and ordered up a rotor fan assisted deck that they hope will ultimately crumble the way the of their spinners for the second match in a row.
For Ben Stokes’ England side it is a chance to double down on the series win in Pakistan two years ago and leave the sub-continent (where they aren’t set to return until 2027) with a 6-5 win ratio overall. They have happy memories of Rawalpindi, particularly the first day, last time they visited they racked up 506 for 4 in 75 overs and four of the men playing today – Crawley, Duckett, Pope and Brook notched up centuries before the bowlers set about prising out twenty wickets on a pitch with less life than Mars.
You want subplots? This match has them by the bucketload. We’ll get into all that and more over the coming hours. Play is due to begin at 6am BST and I’ll bring news of the all important toss shortly. If you are tuning in then why not drop us a line in the usual way? This one promises to be a corker.
